Unusual vegetable thing with odd rice

Take lots of vegetables.  Make sure you include broccoli, probably some mushrooms and definitely BRUSSELS SPROUTS.  Cook them all in a wok. Throw in a load of grated creamed coconut and a sliced mango. Also an orange.

Meanwhile, fry some dry rice in garlic and whatever herbs you can lay your hands on until it's incredibly hot. Throw in some water and stand back. Let it cook for a while and then add some lime pickle and some mustard. When it's almost cooked add a whole load of frozen peas.

Season the unusual vegetable thing with barbecue sauce and you're good to go.

Spinach and mushroom lasagna

1 big package fresh spinach
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup minced shallots
2 teaspoons minced garlic
3/4 pound portobello mushrooms, stems removed and sliced (about 3 large)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups whole milk
1 packet pine nuts
1/8 teaspoon grated nutmeg
2 1/2 cups grated Parmesan
15 ounces fresh ricotta
1 1/2 cups grated Fontina or provolone
1 1/2 cups grated mozzarella
Some lasagna

Cooking Recipe:
Preheat the oven to 160 degrees Celsius, gas 5 or 6-ish.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the spinach and cook for 2 minutes. Drain in a fine mesh strainer, pressing with a large spoon to release as much water as possible. Finely chop and set aside.

In a large skillet, melt 1 tablespoon of the butter over medium-high heat. Add the shallots, most of the pine nuts and the garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the mushrooms, 1/4 teaspoon each of the salt and black pepper, and cook, stirring, until the mushrooms are tender and have given off their liquid, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool.

To make the bechamel sauce, in a large saucepan, melt the remaining 4 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Add the flour and cook, stirring with a wooden spoon, to make a light roux, about 2 minutes. Whisking constantly, slowly add the milk and continue to cook, stirring occasionally until thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, the nutmeg, and 1 cup of the Parmesan and cook, stirring, until thickened, about 2 minutes. Remove from the heat.

In a bowl, combine the ricotta, fontina, and mozzarella cheeses. Fold in 1/4 cup of the bechamel sauce.

Across the bottom of a deep-dish lasagna pan (13 by 9-inches), spoon enough bechamel sauce to cover (about 1/2 cup). Then add 1/4 of the mushrooms and sprinkle 1/4 of the spinach across. Arrange a layer of lasagna side-by-side across the sauce. Spread another layer of bechamel over the noodles and top with more spinach, mushrooms, and cheese. Repeat layering with sauce, lasagna, spinach, and cheese 2 more times, ending with lasagna on top. Sprinkle the remaining 1 1/2 cups of Parmesan and the pine nuts over the top, cover tightly with aluminum foil, and bake until the pasta is tender and the lasagna is hot and bubbly, about 30 minutes. Uncover and continue baking until golden brown on top, about 10 minutes.

Let rest for 10 to 15 minutes before serving. Serve hot.

Weight testing

This article, from the Press Association, is stupid.

Why is there such a stigma about saying people are overweight?

 

Sporty girl, 5, branded overweight

(UKPA) – 1 hour ago

A mother has criticised health officials who branded her healthy, sporty, five-year-old daughter overweight and at risk of heart disease and cancer.
Lucy Davies's height and weight were measured at school before a letter was sent home saying she was overweight, which had implications on her health and well-being.
The letter said she could be vulnerable to conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and cancer.
The 3ft 9in-tall girl, who weighs 3st 9lb, is 1% outside the healthy category based on her body mass index.
Her mother Susan, 38, said no child of that age should be thinking about their weight or worrying about their appearance.
The mother of four, from Poole, Dorset, said her daughter is always on the go and spends her time doing ballet, cheerleading or on family walks and playing outdoors.
A spokeswoman for NHS Bournemouth and Poole, which carried out the tests, said the results were aimed at parents and were not given to children directly.
Dr Adrian Dawson, director of public health at the trust, said: "We are concerned about the health of our children. If they are overweight, this will cause many problems for them as they grow older and we need to tackle this head-on.
"Parents are the only people who can effect this change in lifestyle through healthy eating, meal-time portion control and daily physical activity. It is right that they are aware of the consequences for their children."
Lucy was tested along with thousands of children as part of the Government's National Child Measurement Programme, which measures height, weight and age, to work out the BMI of children aged four to five and 10 to 11.

Dreams

I was dozing in the morning and was worried I might be oversleeping and be late for work. So I opened one eye and looked at the grandfather clock, which said it was only 6 am. I went back to sleep and woke up with a start ten minutes later thinking, "Wait a second..."

Dreams

I had a dream last night where i was in the army and a load of us were trying to take over an enemy base. everyone had guns + stuff except for me, whose job it was to wear a dinner jacket, sit outside the guard house and sing 'blue moon' in order to pacify the opposition.

Absolutely the best cookies ever

1 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla essence
2 cups chocolate chips
1/4 tsp salt
2 cups plain flour

Cook for 8 - 10 mins at 175 ºC

Now I Know

No I, now. No I, now.
Aye, no I now.
Eye, no eye now.
Now, now I know now.

Circles

A circle. I am
A circle, I am.

Recursion

To find out what recursion is, proceed as follows:  If you're standing next to Douglas Hofstadter, ask him what recursion is. If you're not, find someone who's standing closer to him than you are, and ask them what recursion is.

Induction

Joke by induction: "If you thought that last joke was funny wait until you hear the next one"

I'm Not Sure What This Is

I'm not sure what this is, this.
This is not what I thought.
I thought perhaps I knew, or I'd know;
But I'm not sure what this is.

It makes me feel a little sad,
A little crazy, a little pain,
A little angry, like I need to get away,
A little lonely, like I don't.

I feel like it's Christmas,
Dark and cold.
Or like the party's here,
But I can't hear.

If I knew what this is, this,
I could fix it, if fixing's needed.
Or I could like this,
If l like.

But unfortunately,
I'm not sure what this is.