I'm Not Sure What This Is

I'm not sure what this is, this.
This is not what I thought.
I thought perhaps I knew, or I'd know;
But I'm not sure what this is.

It makes me feel a little sad,
A little crazy, a little pain,
A little angry, like I need to get away,
A little lonely, like I don't.

I feel like it's Christmas,
Dark and cold.
Or like the party's here,
But I can't hear.

If I knew what this is, this,
I could fix it, if fixing's needed.
Or I could like this,
If l like.

But unfortunately,
I'm not sure what this is.